Are you wearing red, white and blue today? Well, you should be. It's election day! Whether you voted absentee (while sitting on the living room floor in your pajamas), or plan to go to the booths today (in your red, white and blue outfit - go ahead, we'll wait for you to go home and change), you can feel good about being an American. Vote.
We wanted to remind everyone, not to mention ourselves, why we vote. This may or may not have involved watching a few old Schoolhouse Rock videos. Please enjoy Holiday Golightly's Top 10 Reasons to Vote, with a little help from the Preamble to the Constitution.
1) To form a more perfect union - okay, perfection is overrated and can be boring, but we love a good union! The union of two people in love, the union of peanut butter and chocolate, the union of the snake. Discuss!
2) Establish justice - yes, please! We would also like to see certain injustices rectified: guys who say they'll call, then don't; the drastically escalating cost of designer footwear; the return of leggings-as-pants.
3) Ensure domestic tranquility - because tranquility is contagious, and if we can be tranquil domestically, we can work on being tranquil internationally. Can't you just picture all of us swinging in hammocks, collectively sipping glasses of Semillon?
4) Provide for the common defense - normally we find defensiveness kind of annoying, but protecting ourselves is just good policy. Just ask the people at Kotex.
5) Promote the general welfare - welfare has become somewhat of a negative term, with loaded political connotations. The main definition is "Health, happiness, and good fortune". We're going with that one.
6) Secure the blessings of liberty - we love a good blessing; particularly when we sneeze.
7) Life - yes, because without life, what do you have?
8) Liberty - liberty = freedom, and we rely on these things to live our lives the way we want.
9) The pursuit of happiness - "Happiness" is our new nickname for Zac Efron. and last, but not least
10) Because you CAN - you know how sometimes someone says "You can't have a cupcake, because they're for the party", or "You can't just take those Christian Louboutins out of the store without paying for them"? Doesn't that just boil your butter?
Get out there and make your opinion count!